What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Watching her eat just hurts me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
