Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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