i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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