is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Mom said you looked used
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
