She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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