you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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