Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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