hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
