Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
