yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
