is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
