you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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