i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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