I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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