so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
