He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
