maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
