Soap is not a condiment
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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