Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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