Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
