butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
