I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
