Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
