I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't think brook has ever known best
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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