just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
