Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
