end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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