In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
