she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
