No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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