And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
