if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We talked him into tasing himself.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
