He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
