I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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