Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
