Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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