He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
