Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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