my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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