Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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