I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
