PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
