Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
