Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize