You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
