All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
