You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
one two three fourrrrnication!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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