This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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