i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
