Just fell off a train. Bad.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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