i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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