Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
