No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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