I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize