i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize