oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
