Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
