WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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