Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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