Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
