My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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