Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize