It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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